How to Be Body Confident

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You might have heard the notion that nobody can truly love you until you love yourself.  We often think about this in very deep and meaningful terms, but it’s just as relevant to our physical appearance.  

Body confidence is like a magnet!  It’s not the case that some people deserve it whilst others don’t, everyone deserves to feel comfortable with their body, but feeling comfortable in our own physicality is something many of us were never taught to do.

Life, in many ways, acts as a mirror in that it reflects back your innermost thoughts; as an example, if you feel unlovable then you’ll often find people who reaffirm this back to you.  If you feel fat and ugly, you’ll most likely be with someone who exacerbates this feeling – either because they’re not very attractive themselves or they make you feel insecure.

A lot of psychological and metaphysical research suggests “what we think about we bring about”; meaning our external reality is being shaped by our inner thoughts.  

Unfortunately, our self-talk is often self-critical rather than encouraging and one area our self-critical gaze seems to lock onto is that of our bodies.  

Indeed, at times we can torment ourselves with comparisons of thinner and more beautiful counterparts and rather than appreciate our bodies for what they are, we end up contemplating plastic surgery or look into extreme diets.

The overarching point is that we all have a tendency to feel insecure and anxious about our bodies yet if we embrace our so-called “flaws” and appreciate that everyone in the world has these things they are not comfortable about with their bodies, we can begin to feel at more peace.

That said, on the matter of self-acceptance, it’s equally important to retain perspective and take action as the majority of advice points to suggesting you should take action and go out and make the necessary changes in order to feel better and be healthier – as some things are changeable, such as excess fat, but for the things that aren’t changeable, let’s drop the obsessive focus on some of our most unlovable parts.  

One final tip, on this point, is to be mindful of who you’re comparing yourself with.  Think about it, when you’re comparing your body, are you doing this with the ‘average’ person or the perfect figure.  If you’re constantly comparing yourself to magazine cover models, you’re not going to feel “good enough” and you’re also going to lose perspective of reality, particularly given the fact many magazine cover models are airbrushed beyond recognition.

Now, on the other side of the coin to body confidence, is fashion.  In that, the clothes we wear can make us feel more body confident or less body confident depending on how the clothes wear on us.

We all have fashion fears that hold us back from fully expressing ourselves and we often feel reluctant to truly stand out from the crowd in terms of our outfits, because we fear looking stupid, but when it comes to being more confident in your style there are just two overarching principles for success – and these are principles that you might want to utilise with your children.

See, it can be very easy to visit a glamorous site like Nickis in order to pick up some designer clothes for your children, that look great, but creating confident children who are comfortable with how they look goes beyond the clothes they wear.  

Confidence is an internal job that needs to be generated from the inside rather than put on like a mask – as there are two different types of confidence, external confidence where we seem confident to the outside world and internal confidence where we truly feel confident within ourselves.

Confidence is like a snowball, in that, the more confidence you have the more confident you become, and whilst confidence is something internal, dressing well can be like wrapping up a precious gift in that the most important thing is what’s on the inside, not how it’s packaged, but the packaging seriously affects the way people view and respond to what’s on the inside.

Indeed, we are judged on our packaging each and every day, by every person we come into contact with.  It’s subconscious and automatic.

Therefore, it is important we come across well, but what’s even more important is that we feel comfortable and confident in our own personal style.

There are two overarching principles within this.  The first it to pick clothes that express your personality in the sense they are focused on your own personal tastes and preferences.  The second is to ensure you dress in a way that allows you to relax and feel comfortable in your environment.


Try not to be swept up with current fashion trends and the opinion of the masses – rather than your own personal opinion.  Make sure you choose clothes that you love. Have an opinion of your own and flesh out your wardrobe on the basis of what you personally like.  

Of course, it might be good to get a second opinion, particularly if you don’t have a good creative eye, but the fundamental principle of wearing what you want is solid.


You don’t want to feel uptight or uncomfortable in what you’re wearing.  

Imagine going to the gym, knowing that your t-shirt is a little too small so that when you put your hands above your head the base of the t-shirt rises to reveal your stomach, or your top is so low that whenever you bend down to do an exercise everyone can see your cleavage.  

The key point is that you want to feel relaxed and comfortable in what you’re wearing, this way you can feel at ease and have more body confidence.

In summary, body confidence is something that must be generated on the inside – but the external plays a huge role; be that our physical condition or our fashion.  The trick is to embrace being yourself and loving yourself exactly as you are, but doing what you can to optimize your appearance through both exercise and fashion.

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